A nap can be taken at any time of the day. A respite, a kip, a moment, a catnap, a nana-nap, a bit of shut-eye—it’s good for the soul! The skin! The senses!
Apparently, there are no real rules to napping: one must simply get back into bed after having been ‘up’ and out of bed for a suitably lengthy period of time—however; this is where the trouble begins for me and people/cats like me—I have found that defining that particular stretch of ‘suitably lengthy’ time to be perplexing and confusing. Is it really a ‘nap’ if I have simply got up, briefly eaten breakfast, and then been struck down by such an overwhelm that a re-instigation of slumber is necessary? When is a nap just a nap—is there a darkside to napping? When is a nap a sleep disorder? When is a nap a symptom of mental illness? I don’t pretend to have answers to any questions beyond the first, despite having experience with the other two, but what I do have is a renewed enthusiasm for helping myself get through the day without a nap (one day at a time, of course), and I thought I’d share those helpful ideas with you, as someone who may also be struggling with the netherworld of naps.
Below are some rules garnered from my long, deep, and unintentional study of naps and napping, but I’ll start us off with an attempt at some (potentially tired) comic relief:
A few rules for napping so stupid they’re perilously close to being almost entirely irrelevant (or just plain wrong)
- Don’t feel constricted by personal space rules. If your bed isn’t empty or is too empty, or isn’t appropriately made or comfortable enough or proximal enough, simply go to the closest/emptiest/fullest/most comfortable/most recently made bed and insert yourself betwixt those fresh and welcoming sheets, regardless of all other negotiables
- Be sure to have a glass or bottle (not single-use plastic, please) of water—or a bloody mary!—next to you for revival after ‘the nap’
- Make some attempt to sleep less than the length of time you slumbered the eve before, as napping is a truncated version of sleep (therefore not the full forty winks, or the big nighttime snooze, or even dreamytime-sleeplong). Or have another full eight hours, or why not twelve, why not attempt to break the world record for hours slept during a nap?!
- Don’t sleep with your bra and belt tightened to full capacity. Or maybe over-tighten them, or redecorate the room with them, whatever works
- Don’t take other people with you to Napland as it tends to be prohibitive of proper nap hygiene, (unless of course it’s Harry Styles, because then no napping rules apply, ever). Instead of people, bring cats or other companionable animals who will wake you at their leisure, such fun!
- Don’t not set an alarm, or, don’t set an alarm (apply as necessary).
Now loves, some actual real ideas for napping
- Despite my undying love for naps, I do encourage you to stop yourself from immediately riding the ‘giving up’ train back to your sleepy station. Before surrendering to the insurmountable tiredness and getting back into bed, try a moment of simple relaxation—mindfulness meditation via PMR (progressive muscle relaxation) is a wonderful thing to practice. I have found that ten minutes of seated, quiet time—where you really give yourself a chance to just be—is one of the most helpful and gentle ways to keep myself from sleeping away my day, or even just staving off the immense weariness for a an hour or few. The best thing about a ten-minute mindfulness meditation is that it fits into so many different places in your day, there’s no need to feel guilty for taking a mere ten minutes for yourself, and refreshingly, there’s no need to feel guilty for ‘skipping’ a meditation, it’s entirely up to you! In all seriousness, toss all guilt about taking time for yourself out the proverbial window
- If a nap is really, truly, honestly the only option—and sisterboy, as someone who suffers from both insomnia and hyper-somnolence, I feel you—allow for a softly censored version, do set that time-limit (half an hour works well, where the first five minutes can involve de-clothing, darkening the room and setting an alarm for twenty minutes into the future, and the last five to reverse those initial actions) and go gentle into that good night
- Be kind to yourself. This might not seem like an obvious requirement for napping etiquette, but holy moly it is. You are not ‘the nap’, nor are you the reason behind it, it is simply something you need due to an alarming number of coincidences and incidences, almost none of which you have—or can have—any control over. You are not your nap. Allow for kindness to yourself every day, that’s a policy to be applied as broadly, generously and lavishly as possible
- If napping has nigh-on become a vocation for you (and you haven’t already taken this step), go and see a health professional. It took me two-and-a-half years to work out why I’d gone from an insomniac nutter with springs in her brains to a hyper-somnolent, exhausted, miserable sleepy-sloth who was tied to the springs in her mattress—I couldn’t work out why I was tired out by the simple act of getting myself out of bed. The healthcare struggle is worth it! I still nap, but the desperation underpinning it is that of a puppy’s paw—not a monster’s maw
- Please, my fellow sleepy sausages, drink enough water, eat enough food, go for a walk every other day (if you can manage it), and talk to your people and your animals! Napping doesn’t have to be the end of the world. There is light, and buoyancy, and change coming my cat-nappers, the day is coming when you too can stretch out, feel fresh and be your fabulous, fruitful, feline self.
Happy napping and joyful waking, loves xx
Kitty Literature 